Thanksgiving

We had 11 people here for Thanksgiving, counting the two little ones. We ate a great meal and then everyone dispersed to their various rooms to talk. I stayed at the table with Esther and my friend, Nancy. Esther said, "I won't be using the new washing machine, it's too complicated." (In the little laundry room for all the tenants at the duplexes where she lives.) "Besides, Ida says you have to put a coin in for every little thing." I said, "Didn't it used to be free?" Esther said, "Yes. Everyone was using it all the time, I could hear it going all the time. I brought some bedding to be washed, but you don't have to hurry. I won't need it for a month, I have some on my bed already. I only need to wash about 2 or 3 times a year on the bedding. Oh, I wash something every day. I have a bucket of water. Then I put it (the washed item) on the heater." Nancy says, "You be careful with that heater." "Oh, I'm always careful. I never leave anything on. When I get home it will be cold, but after a few minutes I'll be toasty and warm. " I glanced over at Nancy halfway through this conversation and she kicked me under the table. She does not control her laughter very well.

On a sadder note, Esther said to Jerry before coming over and to me while she was here, "I'm not very interested in anything anymore. I'm tired."
I explained to her that she is still fighting a Urinary Tract infection and she fell a month ago and fractured her forearm. Her body will naturally be tired until they get better. She never wants to go do a doctor or pay for it and so she doctors herself with beer and keeps these things a secret until they bother her so much she has to do something. We ask her all the time, how are you doing, is everything ok? Yep, just fine. She had fallen and fractured her forearm 3 weeks before she told us about it. She had the UT infection for 2 or 3 months before she told us about it. We will do our best to find this stuff out and help her take care of it right, whether she wants to or not. Because we love her.

"I don't want it, I don't need it."

Esther just had her 87th birthday. She celebrated it exactly the way she wanted to. She did her usual routine of telephoning days before to let us know that she did not want anything for her birthday and she did not want to come to dinner. She didn't even want a phone call. She got exactly what she wanted. She did call up the night before and say that what she wanted was for Jerry to come over and help her fill out her ballot for the election. He did that. I used to think that she didn't mean it, that she secretly wanted us to pay her some attention. After many unsuccessful attempts over the years, I finally realized that she really didn't want to celebrate it. "I don't want it, I don't need it."

Roadside Compassion

by Jerry Swertfeger

Summer of '65 Lee, Esther, Jerry and Dale were driving a winding rural road in San Diego County when a staggering man walking along nearly fell in front of our car. My dad pulled over to assist the man . We waited in the car for some time while he made sure the guy was okay. He helped him to the next driveway, apparently his, before returning to the car. Dad simply said he'd been drinking. I was struck by the compassion shown when I expected him to be very critical. Nothing more was said about it. I suppose Dad may previously been the recipient of such a good deed.

Annoying Wart On My Face

Esther had what she said was a wart near the corner of her mouth. She kept putting whatever she found in the cabinet on it--even though she didn't know what was in the bottle. She kept poking, pulling and picking at it. Jerry kept relaying this to me bit by bit over a couple of months. He came home from visiting her one day and said, "I told her you had some stuff that you could freeze that wart with." I told him, "You don't freeze things on your face yourself. You go to the doctor for that." The next time he saw her, a week or so later, he said to me, "That wart has doubled in size in a week." Then I knew it was not a wart. That very next morning I got a call from Esther:

"(Exasperated sigh) Paula, I want you to come here and cut this off of my face. I know you can do it."

The rest of the story is that I made her go to her doctor who took one look at it, said it was cancer and referred her to a very good Dermatologist. She impatiently waited two weeks for that appointment. ("Paula, why don't we stop in there today and see if they have a lull and can do it.") When the day of the appointment came she was more concerned that she have to wait to come back to have it removed, than she was about the diagnosis. The doctor took one look at it, said it was cancer and he would biopsy it. She didn't know that meant he would cut it off. So, even though they were both speaking to each other at this point, they were not having a conversation:

She is prattling on about him doing it today. He says, "I need to numb the area first. You will feel the needle, but just for a second." She says, "Are you going to do it now?" He says, "Are you ready?" She says, "Now?" He says, "Yes." She says, "OK". He then gently puts the needle in her cheek and she jumps at least a foot off the table because she had no idea he was going to do that. She only knew that she'd gotten her way and it would happen today.

The good news is that her face looks the best it has in years because he took care of everything on her face and it healed very well. Also the cancer was superficial.

Esther's Gift

This is just something I remember about one particular visit from Jerry and Esther to Rexburg, Idaho. Jerry, Grant and Brandon were building a carport, and Esther came along with Jerry for the trip. One morning Esther set off for her free coffee at McDonalds, and when she got back, she had brought Kelli a gift. It was a ball from the ball tank, that was in the Play-Place.

The good ol' days

When our Grandpa, Lee Swertfeger, was about 89 years old he was out to Oregon for one of his many visits. We had all been sitting around in the living room and talking and all of a sudden he decided to tell us stories from his youth.

He began, "Back when I was a boy..."

First he told us about the 4th of July celebrations when he was a kid. He said that they didn't have much money and so he and his brother would get a can and put rocks in it. They would run around shaking the cans to make noise and would repeat, "Hoorah! Hoorah for the 4th of July!"

He followed up with a story from a few years later when he was a young man. He said, "Back when I was running 'shine, I was making a run in the Ozarks and I noticed that a car was following me." He said that the road he was on was going up and down a lot of hills so he floored the gas to pull away from the car.

"I got to the top of that next hill and got out. I pulled out my gun and just pointed it right at that car. They didn't even slow down," he related.

Trips

Esther has the wanderlust. She says when she dies she wants "On the Road Again" by Willie Nelson played. Now she can't enjoy the trip because she's old, tired and blind, but she wishes and dreams. She remembers all the places she's been to and what she did and wants to just go.

Once my neice and nephew came to visit me for the very first time. They had been married for about 8 years. They are from Illinois, but she went to college in Washington near Seattle. They were planning a sort of "honeymoon" to the Seattle area because they had never had a honeymoon and he'd never been there. They were seated outside at a table for 4 during a big family get together in honor of their visit. Even though they had never met before, Esther was one who was seated at their table and they were talking about their plan to leave the next day on their honeymoon trip. Esther turned to them and said, "Can I go?"