Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Moving or Staying?

In the past few weeks Esther has called her old landlord two times to say she'd like to move there. Then she changes her mind and decides she wants to stay where she is. We have been through this cycle two times in 4 weeks and I'm sure it will continue because being Swertfeger means you need to occupy your time evaluating things and making decisions. If you don't have much going on in your life, or your abilities are limited you still can spend time thinking, evaluating and deciding. Since there is nothing truly pressing to make decisions about you make them about things that are already decided or should come naturally without having to think abou them. Things like, should I carry my little bag in my left hand or my right? That takes some time to decide. Should I sit in the back seat or the front? More time to decide. Should I place the bag on the floor or the seat? There is a lot of time to spend on these things. Deciding where you are going to live is a big decision. Esther doesn't really want to move. She just wants something to occupy her mind, as she has always done. Dream and scheme and at the last minute, change your mind. It's free and entertaining. I can picture this girl in the Ozarks dreaming and planning for her future. I am happy that Esther has said many times in the past year that she feels that she has lived a good, trouble-free life. She didn't use the word, but she feels that she has been blessed in life while others have had it much harder.