Friday, February 20, 2009

The Nomad

We went on our usual trip to Missouri one year. While we were there, Lee asked us if we'd like to take the travel trailer they had kept parked under a tree for years. He decided he wanted it out of there, to get rid of it. Well the previous winter a tree limb had come down on the roof of the thing, poking holes in the roof. After that it was a whole winter and spring of snow and rain leaking inside of it. Jerry, being his usual helpful self, agreed to take it.

First we had to empty it of all of the treasures they were storing inside of it. It was stuffed to the top with all kinds of things, from old large crocks that were valuable to little pencils and things that should have been thrown away years before. We all carefully took all the stuff out and put it in a place where Esther told us to put it. Lee kept saying, "If you see anything you want, take it." If we did see anything that we wanted and set it aside, within minutes Esther would pick it up and stick it back in her pile and say, "I believe you don't want that." It took a long time to empty it and we hitched it to the van and drove all the way back home with it.

Once we got it home, the real work began. In every cupboard and drawer (and there were many) they had stashed every paper or styrofoam cup or bowl or plate they had ever used. Most were from fast food places. There were also straws and napkins. The only things that hadn't been used and washed were the napkins, they were just the extras they took in case they needed them.

Once we got those out I spent a lot of time and elbow grease scrubbing every inch of it making it clean and nice. I recovered the seats for the table. Jerry repaired the roof and made sure it didn't leak any more. We cleaned the outside. It looked pretty nice by then, for what it was. The only job left to do was repair the rotting floor supports. When you stepped on the floor it was spongy.

Jerry was in no hurry to do that one, since it was costly and time-consuming. Well, Lee and Esther came for a visit later and Lee decided to go inside the trailer to see how it was. He stepped inside and walked a ways and came back out and said, "Jerry, you let that floor go all to hell!"

Friday, February 13, 2009

Five-Finger Discount

I can't help myself, I've been thinking about this one today for some reason. There have been many occasions where we realize that Esther has helped herself to something, and been very sneaky if not downright dishonest. There was recently an occasion when Jerry was with her at the dollar store and realized she had taken something. He gave her talking to about it. We once took Esther with us to Rexburg, Idaho to visit Brandon and Traci. Several months later, when we next saw them, Traci told me that when we visited Esther kept commenting about her little cutting board. She kept talking about it, how it was the "perfect size", "justs fits in your hand so perfectly", and things like that. She couldn't find it after we left. No proof, but it did disappear in the very small place they were living in while at school in Rexburg.

When we visited my sister in Colorado Springs, Esther came to breakfast one morning with a very glittery face. It seems she decided to go poking around in everyone's dresser drawers while we were all upstairs and she got into some glitter lotion that belonged to one of my nieces. The proof was all over her face--she was shining. Jerry said, "Mom, you are looking very glittery this morning." She had no idea what he was talking about but she smiled and thanked him anyway. We all had a good chuckle, even my sister, but later she let me know that I didn't need to bring Esther the next time I came to visit. ( It is freaky to think of some old lady poking through you stuff.)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Blind Leading The Blind

One summer, we were visiting Missouri, where Jerry's folks lived most of the time when they weren't somewhere else. They are both from southwest Missouri, near Springfield and the Swertfeger family farm is there. We would load up the kids every other year and drive them across country to see my family in Illinois and Jerry's in Missouri. We'd been there many times, and Jerry knew his way to all his relatives homes because he had visited them his entire life.
On this visit particular visit, we had his parents loaded into the van and were driving out to his Uncle Albert's home on Table Rock Lake in Eagle Rock. Lee, who was so blind he could not drive anymore or see much of anything was telling Jerry where to go and how to turn, Esther was also helping Jerry find his way. We were on the dirt roads leading up to Albert's home area and Lee had been saying, "Turn left." So as we approach the turn Esther says, "Turn left." Jerry does it obediently knowing that it is the wrong way, figuring that it was the only way to let them see they were wrong and take care of the situation. Immediately after it was realized we were going the wrong way Lee asks in a loud, condescending voice, "You turned left!?".

Thick Paint

I really had a lot to learn about my in-laws. They loved to show up unnanounced for a visit. Even though they lived far away, they travelled long distances whenever they could find some "business" to do.

One June day they showed up in the early afternoon just as I had put Heidi and Brandon down for a nap and was painting the living room. We had been in the house a short amount of time and the medium green walls were dirty from the former occupants smoking in the house. I had scrubbed them and realized I would need to paint. Where there had been pictures hung on the walls, there were brown squares that would not come off. The paint was poured into the roller pan, and I had already based in the entire room. They arrived and said, "We won't be a bother, just keep doing what you're doing." They then did their usual thing of taking over. They liked to be in charge, especially Lee. I went to check on one of the kids and when I came back Lee said, "Paula, that paint was too thick. I thinned it for you." He had poured a bunch of water into the can and into the roller pan. It was like soup now. I painted with it, respectfully not complaining. The first coat looked like thin whitewash. You could see right through it, and you could see the roller marks all over it. Second coat, third coat, fourth coat. Still not all covered and looking like the antique white I was painting it. The fifth coat did it. It took about 3 days to get it painted and he would come in and look at the progress and never once thought he had done anything wrong or that had caused a problem. I bore it patiently, but decided to never again let that happen.

Since the painting had gone on so long while they were there, Esther was not liking the smell of paint. She said, "If you want to get rid of a smell in your house this is what you do. Just fry up a little bacon and it will make it all better." Paint and bacon, yum.

Mexican Baby

When Jerry and I were first married, I had no idea what his parents were like. I'd met them once and they did not come to our wedding or reception. They also lived in California. Jerry and I wanted children right away so it did not take long before I was expecting our first baby. Esther and Lee came for a visit and when Jerry was at work Esther talked to me about something she'd like me to do for them. They were having some problems with a piece of property and some money that they had in Mexico. It would be so great for them if I would go to Mexico to have the baby. Then the baby would be a Mexican citizen as well as a US citizen. Then they could deed the property to the baby and put the money in the baby's name and then they would be able to get their money back. Esther said they were willing to pay for everything if I would just go to Mexico to have my baby. I didn't know what to say. I said I'd talk it over with Jerry. When he came home and I had a chance to talk to him I know my eyes were as big a saucers when I told him what his parents wanted. He just said, "No, you are not doing that." I was glad because I didn't want to go to Mexico to have the baby. It was my first and I did not know what would happen, or if I could even deliver a baby without complications. So, if Esther and Lee had gotten their way, Brandon would be part Mexican.